Reality Staring Me In The Face

Lets talk about Stress.  Stress is sometimes looked at as a burden to an individual/family and sometimes, I've noticed, that stress is idolized as a state of living that is to be desired.  Although I think the second kind of stress is a scary state for our culture to admire, I would like to talk about the first kind of stress.

The first kind of stress effects me more in my adult life than I ever remember it effecting me when I was a kid.  And we all cope with stress differently.  Some express emotions at extreme levels, some drink alcohol, some obsess about activities or work, and some do what I do.  Eat.

I can't even explain it.  I can be full and know I'm not hungry and might even not want to eat, but I just keep going.  It's like my body thinks food is a medicine that I need right then, and I need as much as I can get.  This past year was very stressful for me for many reasons.  One of those reasons was a foot injury.  And because I wasn't really paying attention or addressing my stresses well, I ate.  And I ate. And I ate.

Between my injury and my inability to exercise (this is usually my 1st line of defense to my yearning to eat) I managed to gain 45 lbs in the last 12 months.  And it's rough.  It's hard to watch 3 years of hard work disappear behind a mask that jiggles.

In the first half of the year, I was super excited to begin my workouts again.  I spent months doing no strenuous activity and was excited to get back to doing what I love.  But I forgot how slow one has to go after an injury.  It's been a while since I had a significant injury and my body is definitely older now.  (I never thought I would say that)  It's true.  Gaining my strength and abilities back seems to be at a snails pace, and thus extremely frustrating.

I didn't really account for this 6 months ago when I registered for the Utah Valley Half Marathon.  So, the race is here.  And I'm not ready to run it.  I was thinking that I would try to find someone else to take my place when I was reminded by my sister-in-law that people walk these races.  Now, I usually run.  I tend to do things quickly.  But by body is screaming at me and I need to slow down; in more ways than just exercise.  I have to respect where I am.  Right here.  Right now.  And enjoy it.

Here's to walking my first race.

Eat Clean Struggles.

Taking a 4 month sabbatical from Eating Clean was not a smart idea.  It's extremely hard to get  back to it.  I want to have healthy eating habits.  I want my family to have good eating habits.  This isn't even about getting "skinny" anymore.  I've moved past that.  Getting skinny used to be a good motivator for me, but not now.   I don't want to, I just want to be healthy.  Working through the brainwashing that our media has taught is tough business.  I thought being healthy was going to be a good enough motivator, but I haven't been able to convince my subconscious.   And it's so easy to grab a cookie or cracker, or to pick up a $5 pizza on the way home.  But I know those things aren't good for my stomach.

I don't feel good when I eat them.  I bloat.  I spend the rest of the day passing gas.  My clothes don't feel as though they fit.  And I spend a significant amount of time on my personal throne.  Nothing good comes from indulging. . . maybe that one moment of blissful flavor.  But it's still just one moment.  That moment is just NOT worth it.  Because of my IBS, one moment ruins the rest of my day. My situation gives a whole new meaning to "A moment on the lips, forever on the hips."  My hips spend forever one the toilet.  UGHHHHH!

I need a good way to remind myself to steer clear of the junk.  Anything that has worked well for you?

Cutting Out the Sweetness

It's been almost 2 weeks and I haven't eaten any delectable desserts.  I wish that I could say that cutting them out was making me feel fantastic and giving me energy I never knew I had, but it's just not.  I feel sluggish, tired, and irritable.

I remember when I first participated in p90x, Tony Horton explained that I would feel this way in the first 30 days.  The days when I was cutting out the crap that was killing my body.  These days were supposed to be hard, supposed to help my body get used to using the good foods to fuel my body.  I don't remember feeling that way before,  but I sure feel this way now.

Although I'm not engaged in p90x this time, there is no question as to the Calorie requirements that my activities require.  Getting through the next 3 weeks will be a challenge.  A challenge that I'm hoping will be a great jump start to a new way of respecting and collaborating with my food to improve my health.

Fat People Anonymous: Pizza Overload

Hi.  My name is Phannie. 

*Hello Phannie*

I am a recovering fat person.  I fell off the wagon.  I ate Pizza.  Cheesebread.  Cinnastix.  Oh the joy I felt while doing it.  And even a while afterwards, but the next day when I had it again for Lunch. . . 

OH the PAIN.  The guilty pain.  The second round didn't even taste that good.  I wanted to hurl.  I didn't.  (Bulimia, to me, is a waste of money.  Anorexia is more financially sound.  If only food didn't taste so good.)  I didn't even workout Saturday.  OR Sunday.  Which made this mornings workout  DEATH to my muscles.  I could barely get through the workout. Not to mention having to watch my fatness squish together during the ab workout first.  BLEH.   I guess that's what I get for filling my tank with crap. 

New Goal:

Fill my body with energizing foods.  Foods that will get me through my workouts.

Thank you for being my support.

Shred Day 26: Fat People Anonymous

Hi. My name is Phannie.  I have been fat food free for 12 hours.  I know.  I fell off the bandwagon.  There are no excuses, but today is a new day and I WILL do better.  To start this "better" phase I began with:

20 squats
30 lunges
40 calf raises
60 second wall squat
100 jumping jacks
60 second wall squat
40 plie squats
30 leg lifts
20 squats

I'm tired.  My stomach is cramping and I just want a chocolate bar.  However, the goal today is to NOT eat one.  I can do it.

Post Pregnancy Exercise Reality

I realize it now.  This year will not be my pedal to the metal year when it comes to exercise.  We have had a handful of sicknesses this LATE flu season.  I'm getting used to having 2 kids and keeping them on a healthy schedule AND still focusing on the fun stuff every day. 

This, I have felt, has left my health on the back burner.  Something I never wanted to do.  So, I've re-evaluated.  I understand that for my sanity and the survival of my family, I NEED exercise and healthy living in my life.  I also understand that I didn't have as much time to dedicate to these things as I did when I was single or just had my Hubby to worry about.  This year is about Baby Steps.

Baby Steps to Eating Clean
Baby Steps to exercise
Baby Steps to NO more TV
Baby Steps to outdoor fun with little kids
Baby Steps to de-cluttering my house

and there are so many more.

I'm beginning my healthy living with the Eat-Clean lifestyle.  No more processed foods.  Smaller portions.  And more meals a day.  This is not going to be an easy change, but this is going to be a FANTASTIC change.  I guess we'll see together how this first year of Eating Clean goes. 

Wish us luck.

Spinach Salad

It was just so good I had to share! Today my Hubby and I ate a fantastic spinach salad. It was mostly his idea, but I added a few things to mine.

Ingredients:

Lots of Spinach
1/2 can of Tuna
1 small Roma Tomato
Almond slices
Poppy Seed Dressing

Layer ingredients on top of a large plate or in a bowl. Scarf it down. Enjoy!


Realistically I don't know how many Calories are in this salad, but I don't imagine there are many. And I ate it as my meal, I would use 1/4 of this portion if it was a side.

Lazy Pregnant Eating

So much for healthy eating while pregnant. I haven't been to the store in over a week. I am left with an Eatmore and Ruffle potatoe chips for lunch. So nutritious!

Fat People Anonymous: Holiday Hangover

Hi. My name is Phannie and I'm a recovering Fat Person.

There was Christmas. There was New Years. And I fell off the wagon. I just couldn't help it. All the sweets, the delectable delights. Sinful bliss. I want to say that it was worth it, but I'm just not sure that it is. I actually feel bigger. (probably because I am) I feel sluggish. And it's now hard to break the new habits I have developed.

How do you get over your Holiday Hangover?

Thanksgiving

So, it's that dreaded time of the year. . . Holiday Feast Season. I love it. The cookies, cakes, pies, ham, potatoes, turkey, dressing, caramels. Oh the goodness.

I have been dealing with moving and new apartment problems, a wedding in the family and then Thanksgiving right afterwards. So, I just haven't been able to do p90x or any other kind of exercise. I was feeling really bad about it until I watched Eat, Pray, Love. There is a scene where they are talking about gaining weight. And they just decide that it's better to enjoy the good stuff and buy bigger pants tomorrow. I don't totally agree with freely gaining weight and buying bigger pants later, but I do think that all the wonderful flavors of the season are worth the extra mile run or couple laps in the pool. Don't you?

Sinfulness

There is just not much better than hash browns cooked in bacon grease. YUM!!

I should be worried about this because we are nearing the end of our Biggest Loser Family Challenge, but it is SOOO worth it.

Low Calorie Pasta Salad

I completely LOVE The Volumetrics Eating Plan, by Barbara Rolls, Ph. D. I use these recipes all the time. And I get to eat a whole bunch of food. I don't have to cut my portions. With most of the recipes I find myself not being able to eat as much as I'm allowed to.

Anyway, here is the Pasta Salad recipe on page 146:


4 C. ditalini, cooked and drained
2 C. peeled, shredded carrots
2 C. cored, diced tomatoes
2 C. frozen baby peas, cooked and drained
8 Tbsp. 1/4-inch thick diced ham (about 4 oz)
1 C. shredded part-skim mozzarella cheese

Dressing: 1/2 Cup of this dressing for the Pasta Salad

3 Tbsp white-wine vinegar
1 Tbsp extra-virgin olive oil
1/4 tsp salt
pinch of freshly ground pepper

(I used red-wine vinegar because I didn't have white-wine vinegar. It still tasted great)

Combine all the ingredients in a medium bowl and mix well, evenly distributing the dressing. Serve chilled or at room temperature.

Makes: 4 servings of 3 Cups each

Calories: 400
Energy Density: .80
Carbohydrates: 52 g.
Fat: 11 g.
Protein: 23 g.
Fiber: 9 g.

Sorry, no picture. I forgot to take one.

Favorite Sin

One of the ways to earn points for the 500 is to give up my favorite sin for 7 days. A whole week. It's pretty hard. The one that I LOVE is:

CHEESE

It's yellow,

Sweet AND Salty,

runny,

hard,

delectable goodness.

I have had to give it up for the last 6 weeks and it doesn't get any easier over time. I thought it would, but it seems to be getting worse. All I want is Mac 'n Cheese, a grilled cheese sandwich, Nachos,

chili cheese fries; well, you get the idea.

It's a tough one. But I guess it will be worth the 5 points. Hopefully. Some days I just want to hide in the corner behind the couch and eat a whole bowl of cheese curds. YUM!!


(picture from www.thedailygreen.com and www.kats9lives.com)

Almost There

Walking has become my life. As I walk I yearn to RUN. I can't wait until I can again. I'm so excited that I have almost reached 120 Miles this summer. I wasn't sure I could do it, but I'm only 7 miles away. It's so great to accomplish something physical again.

Anyone have some tips to help keep up your milk production while exercising?

My Favorite Breakfast

This is my FAVORITE breakfast, especially since I'm pregnant. I love it. What could be better than Hashbrowns, eggs, and turkey bacon? NOTHING.

YUMMMMMM!

Poach-Roast Salmon with Yogurt and Dill Sauce

This dinner was soooo good. I got the recipe out of The Volumetrics Eating Plan. One can eat a ton of food in 1/2 the Calories the dish would usually have. I love it. I was a little skeptical about the whole yogurt mixed with dill thing, but it's officially my favorite way to cook salmon.

AND my whole meal was under 650 calories!





Salad 68 Calories + dressing 60 Calories = 128 Calories
Salmon 225 Calories + Sauce 15 Calories = 240 Calories
Rice (plain)= 240 Calories

TOTAL = 608 Calories

Maybe 608 Calories sounds like a lot, but with all that food I'm glad it wasn't more like 1500.

I fell victim to THE PIE

This weekend I couldn't help it. My husband was having an end of year social for a school group and they ordered from The Pie. It's soo good. If you haven't had the opportunity to eat there you should. Visit HERE.

I know that pizza isn't very healthy and doesn't fit into my dietary needs, but I know that it definitely fit into my emotional piggy bank. MMMMMhmmmmmmm. It was worth it and the run tomorrow will be worth it too.

The Weekend Temptations

It's always hard after a weekend at Mom's house. Huge dinner. Three desserts (at least). Bring leftovers home. Not the healthy things in my cupboard.

I love visiting family, playing games, and enjoying meals together. However, I haven't been able to figure out how to get all the healthy choices into my body from someone elses kitchen.

Instead of trying to shove more vegi's into my moms home, I just plan on a hard workout for the next week. Usually the hardest on Monday. It tends to keep me close to the weight that I want, but it leaves me craving lucious chocolate/sweets all week long. Oh the pain.

I have been trying to find alternative desserts. Ones that are less fattening and don't leave me feeling stuffed to the brim.

Any ideas? What have you done to help you get over the failures of weekend temptations?