I Think I Can. . . I Think I Can. . .

I have become very comfortable inside my little apartment. I eat, sit, crochet, eat, sew, watch a movie, eat, read, sew more, and eat more.

I swear the eating never ends. I am starving ALL the time. But this is not what I was going to focus on.

I Can get out of the house at least once a day. I do not have to have the car to do this.

I Can go walking and work up to jogging. This means at least 30 mins.

I Can be active. Do the things that I want to do. Part of my bucket list is to be that pregnant lady that ran right past me a year ago in the Freedom Run. I don't have to do a marathon, but I want to keep my waddling body moving.

I Can jog in the Turkey Trot this year. I know I Can. . . I know I Can. . .

Out of Wack

Okay, I feel completely out of wack. My body is getting fatter. I want to do things and can't. I want to eat healthy, but my body thinks that food tastes gross. I don't want to force feed myself because I don't want to hate the good food when the pregnancy is over.

It's no secret that the mind/spirit is the real animal we are all trying to understand and tame, but when I'm struggling to control the body as well, I feel like I am riding a roller coaster. One that has gone up, up and is not going down and I can't see the end. Screaming. Lots of Screaming.

Body Changes

I should be excited about the little baby bump that is growing. My hubby tells me that it is cute. He likes it. But when I have spent my whole life fighting to stay a normal size it's really hard to look past the "fatness."



I know in my head that I should get bigger and gain weight because I am pregnant, but that doesn't override the programming that I have spent years developing. I just can't get past the out of control, growing body that I have. I wish that I could.