I Think I Can. . . I Think I Can. . .

I have become very comfortable inside my little apartment. I eat, sit, crochet, eat, sew, watch a movie, eat, read, sew more, and eat more.

I swear the eating never ends. I am starving ALL the time. But this is not what I was going to focus on.

I Can get out of the house at least once a day. I do not have to have the car to do this.

I Can go walking and work up to jogging. This means at least 30 mins.

I Can be active. Do the things that I want to do. Part of my bucket list is to be that pregnant lady that ran right past me a year ago in the Freedom Run. I don't have to do a marathon, but I want to keep my waddling body moving.

I Can jog in the Turkey Trot this year. I know I Can. . . I know I Can. . .

Out of Wack

Okay, I feel completely out of wack. My body is getting fatter. I want to do things and can't. I want to eat healthy, but my body thinks that food tastes gross. I don't want to force feed myself because I don't want to hate the good food when the pregnancy is over.

It's no secret that the mind/spirit is the real animal we are all trying to understand and tame, but when I'm struggling to control the body as well, I feel like I am riding a roller coaster. One that has gone up, up and is not going down and I can't see the end. Screaming. Lots of Screaming.

Body Changes

I should be excited about the little baby bump that is growing. My hubby tells me that it is cute. He likes it. But when I have spent my whole life fighting to stay a normal size it's really hard to look past the "fatness."



I know in my head that I should get bigger and gain weight because I am pregnant, but that doesn't override the programming that I have spent years developing. I just can't get past the out of control, growing body that I have. I wish that I could.

Thank you

I am so excited. My body is feeling better. I can get around my house without wanting to keel over and throw up. It's a great feeling.

DEAR BODY,

The days are getting better and better. I can eat more, get out more, enjoy activities. It's beautiful. AND it's summer.

HOT FUN IN THE SUMMER TIME!!

Thank you thank you,
Phannie

Swimming

This weekend was wonderful. I got to go swimming. It was wonderful to be able to do a little bit of exercise.

I woke this morning yearning to run. I don't know that I dare though. Oh, but I want to more than anything. I will be able to soon.

I got out

I did it. I got out of the house. Of course, it was for a vacation that was already paid for and I couldn't pass up going to the West Coast Beaches. (I've never been before)


Anyway, I didn't realize that walking on the sand after sitting on my butt for four weeks would be so hard. My calves are soooo tight. In ways I've never felt them tight before. But it was all so worth it. I got out. Got a little bit of exercise through all the walking that we did. It felt so great.